Happily ever after!!!

       Lets see, I have been married for 8 years now, so I am officially cleared to give some marriage advice, don't you agree? These days being married for 8 years is a feet to celebrate. To the contrary opinion that everyone is bombarded by marriage advice, I don't remember receiving much. May be because they thought I was matured, adjustable and pleasant to be with that I would survive any guy? Too bad, I could have used some. Anyways, over these years I have become wiser and now ready to impart my take on relationships. Just a few key things and you are on your way to a wonderful pleasant marriage. If advice if not your thing then think of this as one of those articles - 10 tips on a successful relationship in the order of importance.

1. Priorities - I am not kidding when I say - "List down your priorities!". I mean literally sit down and list down your priorities and communicate this to your finance. Beware - not all at once, over several sittings/phone calls.  Setting these at the beginning makes it easier for you and your spouse to embrace and we all know that change is not much welcomed. E.g - respecting and taking care of your parents may be one of the items on your list.

2. Expectations - Once again I am not kidding when I say - "List down your expectations!". Only this time I have a better strategy for communicating the items on this list to your spouse. Do them yourself, show them by actions rather than asking your spouse to do so. Actions speak volume and have a way of incorporating themselves into those near you without a lot of talking!

3. Respect - This should be one of your expectations, but its just too important in a relationship so it needs a special mention. Of course everyone wants to be respected and taken seriously at times. For people who don't talk a lot, its a little bit easier to command respect.  Respect your spouse and they will respect you back.

4. Personal space /hobbies - Realize that every one needs their personal space and try to take time off from each other during the course of your relationship. Overdose of each other is a killer!

5. Money - Be clear on where each other stand on finance. One of you might be spender, another a saver or whatever combination you end up with, one of the topics to be discussed and communicated.

6. Respect your in-laws - better yet, STOP thinking of them as in-laws and think of them as your parents. Need I say more, if you just did that, then there would be far less issues.

7. Equality - Take a vow to discuss even small things with your spouse before taking a decision. If you keep this in mind and start from day one, it will easily become a habit.

8. Strengths and weakness - As you discover each other's personality analyze your spouse's strengths and weakness. This will give you a better understanding and help share responsibilities.

9. Friend - Days when the man was the sole breadwinner and decision maker are over!!!  Your relationship will last a eternity if you remember to the best friend your spouse can possibly have is YOU!. It is one of the toughest to do,but I agree that it pays well.

10. Last but not least, don't take life too seriously - When your spouse is angry and hurtful words come pouring out, remember that he or she is angry and they don't mean all of what they say. Also remember , "Idhuvum kadandhu pogum!!!". Don't take things personally and try not to bring your parents into your disagreements. Just makes things worse.


    Again, you can plan all you want, but everything depends on your partner. So be ready for curveballs and a theme park ride!!! Remind your self that you are in it together and strive to make each other's experience a pleasant one.

On behalf of all the "Happily ever afters................"