My first story

LOVE MARRIAGE?
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I don’t know what state my mind is in? Now, that’s the biggest lie anyone can ever say. I am full aware of what I think, say, do only that everything appears to be blurred.

I was normal until a few days ago. Until he proposed me. It was a very simple and straight forward “I Love you, do you love me too?”. I had no answer at the moment. Rather I did not want to answer it. My mind was raising a million questions.
Is he Mr. Right? Will he care for me more than for himself? Will he love me with the same intensity till death departs us? Will he respect me? Will he treat me with due courtesies for a woman? Will he stand by me against who ever it is? Will he put me above all in his life? Will he submit his ego to me? Will he say, “I love you” as often as possible?

Is he the one? Is he the one?

I sat transfixed, immersed in a pool of thoughts. Was someone throwing a stone? No, No there was a mild tremor on the monitor. Yup, yahoo messenger buzzed on my desktop. I realized he was waiting for an answer. Slowly and thoughtfully I typed. I know what I wrote should have hurt his ego, slightly. I sat back relaxed, only after reading his reply. Again it was a classic one. I understand. He carefully changed the topic of conversation. We chatted on for about 2 hours then. I went back to my apartment, confused thoroughly.

I dumped my handbag on the table. Fell on the bed. Tit bits of the conversation and the yahoo emoticons were baffling my brain. I knew I had to decide soon. I quickly changed into casuals. Prepared a cup of coffee, switched on the TV and tired to push my thoughts elsewhere.

What will I tell my parents? Should I tell them? Is it too early to tell them? How will my parents respond? Finally I decided it was high time I took a break from these thoughts. I told myself not to think about this.

I briskly walked up to the balcony. From there I could see the street corner. I was gazing aimlessly. I saw them.Not anyone who i knew but some people i could relate to, two people walking towards the apartment. Coming nearer, I saw them hold each other’s hand. It was a gesture enough to trigger his thoughts again. In a few minutes time I was pacing up and down the balcony. Struggling with questions and answers, my lips finally curled a bit ya into a bit of a smile i guess.

“Hi Ma”- I greeted my mom over the phone. “ Hi Darling. How are you?”
"Mom am doing great as usual! How is papa? " , I asked.

"He is fine dear. Now listen carefully.Let me know this without delay. Tell me kuttima, do you like him? Before you answer, remember that you decision is the final one."

“Ma….” I dragged, not knowing how to get it out of my mouth. Mothers are mothers. They just don’t have an equivalent.

“I know…I know…just tell me yes or no, your papa and i will take care of the rest.”

I stammered, “Yes…Mom” There was a cry of joy from the other side. I heard my mom call my father, “See I told you, my kuttima will make the right choice.”

Meanwhile my mind raced back to the conversation we had. My mouth ached. I realized that I had been smiling for a long time now. Sneha! Sneha! I jolted back as my mother yelled over the phone. Ok Sneha, father and I will discuss with his parents and fix up the dates. I carefully replaced the receiver.

Bliss! Joy! Happiness! Ecstatic! These are what I can classify as a possible set of emotions I was going through. I dialed his number on my mobile. A husky voice answered the call.

Hellooo! Prem, this is Sneha! Hi Sneha! So soon…what’s up? Blushing I said, “ I just called up to answer your question.”………….

Yes, ours is an arranged marriage. Prem and I are engaged. I am smiling by tons and blushing by millions these days. He still asks me, what made you decide? I say, may be because I saw a couple holding their hands. And both of us burst out laughing!